Idiots who should not be allowed to drive

"Chairman Kaga" (mike-mckinnon)
08/22/2014 at 13:09 • Filed to: None

My wife is the assistant principal at an elementary school. Yesterday on of her teacher's assistants called to say he'd be late, or maybe not in at all.

Seems his roommate borrowed his CRV the night before, and now it won't move.

"It's in drive but it won't go forward unless I press on the gas really hard, but it makes a bad noise and smell. I'm waiting for the tow truck to take me to the mechanic."

"James."

"Yes?"

"Is the parking brake on?"

"What's a parking brake?"

I'll let your brain fill in the rest of that conversation.

DISCUSSION (21)

TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut > Chairman Kaga
08/22/2014 at 13:11

........................................

woT

CalzoneGolem > Chairman Kaga
08/22/2014 at 13:12

...and that was the day James lost his life because he was too stupid to live.

FJ80WaitinForaLSV8 > Chairman Kaga
08/22/2014 at 13:13

wow - just wow.

Alfalfa > Chairman Kaga
08/22/2014 at 13:16

Well that's special.

For Sweden > Chairman Kaga
08/22/2014 at 13:17

So that's why he's so slow.

jariten1781 > Chairman Kaga
08/22/2014 at 13:18

My mother in law accused me of breaking her Fit when we were out visiting because I set the parking brake and she couldn't figure out how to release it. She's been driving for more than 40 years and didn't know you had to pull up and push the button because she's never used one.

thebigbossyboss > Chairman Kaga
08/22/2014 at 13:18

.....this is terrifying. How can someone operate a car, and NOT KNOW what an emergency brake is. The level of ignorance is astounding.

Chairman Kaga > CalzoneGolem
08/22/2014 at 13:30

It was in fact the day James almost lost his job because he was too stupid for my wife to deal with any longer.

Chairman Kaga > thebigbossyboss
08/22/2014 at 13:31

Because Texas.

Seriously. Driver instruction here is terrifying, hilariously pathetic.

CalzoneGolem > Chairman Kaga
08/22/2014 at 13:32

Better luck next time I guess.

Dsscats > Chairman Kaga
08/22/2014 at 13:34

HOW DOES HE PARK ON HILLS? HIS POOR TRANSMISSION!!!

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Chairman Kaga
08/22/2014 at 13:37

Hate to be devil's advocate here but..

Does that pedal have a label on it?

no.

Does the transmission have a parking pawl?

yes.

Are there many instances where Average Joe would need to use the parking brake?

Not really.

Story: My dad has owned a lot of sweet-ass muscle cars, all with automatics. As such, he's never dealt with parking brakes much, since we live in Kansas and it's flat as hell here. However, being paranoid about the state of my parking pawl (less so now that I kind of want an excuse for a new tranny/car anyway) and annoyed with how difficult it is to get out of Park when on a slight incline, I've formed the habit of setting the brake. Without fail, my dad will get in my car and spend about 2 minutes wondering why the car won't move, then another few seconds trying to remember where the hell the parking brake is.

This is a highly-regarded engineer at a very large aeronautics company, and by no means unintelligent. He's just not familiar with that particular system (his car's parking brake is a lever. he doesn't use it, but it's a lever whereas mine is a pedal).

Stop jumping all over someone's ass because they don't know every single feature of their car, especially when it's something that they might not have had a pressing need to use or know about. Stop spouting "too stupid to live" and other bullshit and instead bask in the fact that someone today learned a little bit more about his car.

The exception would be if he was told multiple times about the parking brake but still refused to be bothered to remember its existence. That would be a tad annoying.

norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback > Chairman Kaga
08/22/2014 at 13:39

Yet you have 85 mph toll roads. *shudders*

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Chairman Kaga
08/22/2014 at 13:40

I hope so. If he doesn't know what a parking brake is I don't think he should be an educator...

RazoE > thebigbossyboss
08/22/2014 at 13:41

I sometimes forget it's on my automatic xB. Whoopsies..!

thebigbossyboss > RazoE
08/22/2014 at 13:44

Well that shit happens. I once did that in my parents minivan. But not having a clue about what it is, is what kills me.

RazoE > thebigbossyboss
08/22/2014 at 13:46

aw, gotcha. Due to the xB's design (and the fact that the JDM version only came with a column shifter and bench seat), the shifter/ebrake are very low in the car, so it's easy to not see it.

crowmolly > Chairman Kaga
08/22/2014 at 14:07

So, is he blind too? Since there is a warning light and all.

mcseanerson > Chairman Kaga
08/22/2014 at 14:11

I can top that one. One time a group of friends wanted to play truth or dare, yes my friends are the most immature people you might ever meet, and when my buddies girlfriends turn came up she said

"Dare! I'll do anything!"
I replied
"Eat dry cat food."

"I'm not gonna do that, that's disgusting!"

"Lick the tile floor."

"I'm not gonna do that."

All she wanted to do was be dared to do sexual things and I wasn't playing that shit daring someone to do something they're already gonna do anyway.

"Steal Mikes car and take it for a joyride for 10 minutes."

"Okay!"

She thought she was God's gift to driving so she took off and we heard the engine working hard and could smell the smoke and hear the tires squealing. She comes back and the engine's ticking and the car is smoking. Mike said she never took the parking brake off. She said she'd never used one before and just assumed that's how it drove.

Because Florida.

zeontestpilot > Chairman Kaga
08/22/2014 at 14:27

I think the question is, who taught him to drive? Apparently they didn't feel the need to inform them about their car...

ranwhenparked > Chairman Kaga
08/23/2014 at 11:00

On the plus side, we now know that the CRV has a functioning parking brake and not just a "make the car smell funny" pedal.